How do I set and achieve goals properly?

A: The truth is that nothing you do or have can bring you true happiness, so thinking that by setting a goal to achieve or have something you will become truly happy is delusional and an ultimately futile and self-defeating exercise - until you realise its futility, of course, when you will see that you needed to go through all the pain you caused yourself in order to have this realisation, and the whole process makes perfect sense. 

However, once you do realise this profound truth, you become free of the need to have or do anything, and it is in this state that you can manifest virtually anything for the sheer joy of doing it. Your focussed intention coming from your Higher Self, rather than your desire that comes from your ego, manifests in the material world in a seemingly magical and fairly effortless way because your happiness is not dependent on whether or not the intention does become a manifested reality, so you feel no stress about whether anything does in fact manifest. To put this in a nutshell, you must first give up your desire for everything - your desire for material things and possessions that will make you happy, and even the desire to be happy - in order to have everything - true happiness, which is the sheer bliss of knowing yourself as the timeless awareness that is already everything and does not need or require anything. 

Out of this state of peace and timeless gratitude for the abundance of life, which you feel one with, you can choose to create anything you want, not because you need to, but because it fills you with joy to create and experience it. So you love the process of what you are doing more than the end result, which, although you can picture it and it does excite you because you feel that it is part of your purpose on this earth to do the work you are doing and manifest the result you can envision. So you have both a deep enjoyment of the moment-by-moment process of creation, which unfolds naturally and seemingly effortlessly, and an ebullient enthusiasm arising from your vision of the beautiful and beneficial end result of your work you know will become reality one day. And you keep about your daily process of creating this reality, your goal, because you enjoy the process so much and experience such a deep feeling of purpose and meaning in the process. There is no fear that you will not achieve your goal because it is an absolute reality in your mind and you know that nothing can stop that mental picture from becoming a reality, unless something does, in which case that would be fine, because you are not attached to the end result and will have enjoyed every minute of the process.   

Now you're probably thinking that this is all very metaphysical and mystical and you can't see how it has any practical application in your life. Well, let me show how the process of manifestation works by way of a hypothetical example that you will almost certainly relate to, which I will call a Tale of Two Sisters, but first, a quick commercial break: 


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A Tale of Two Sisters

Two middle-aged sisters in their 40's have very different lives. The one, Mrs. A. Bundance, is a best-selling author making several million dollars per year from her books and public appearances. She lives in a beautiful house in Cape Town overlooking Clifton beach, has a very successful businessman and philanthropist for a husband whom she adores and who adores her and two happy children. She is extremely happy and content with her life as it is, yet excited about the next book she is working on and the world tour she will do to promote it in the second half of the year. The other sister, Miss. P. Overty, is in a drug rehabilitation centre for the third time trying to overcome a severe addiction to heroin that she has had for over 10 years. Her sister pays for her to stay there (and in fact, financially supports the whole centre), as she is penniless, having spent the wealth she once had on her drug habit, yet she resents her sister and almost everyone else she knows (except her dealer) deeply, blaming them for all her misfortune. 

However, 20 years earlier, their lives were very different. Pretty Overty was indeed a very beautiful girl at the height of her beauty working as an international fashion model earning thousands of dollars a day for doing photo shoots and ramp modeling all over the world. However, her exterior beauty was not matched by what was on the inside. Almost everyone she met felt she was extremely narcissistic and egotistical, behaving like a spoilt child whenever she did not get exactly what she wanted, which she usually managed to do through a combination of her overwhelming beauty (when dealing with men) and spectacular tantrums. She derived her sense of self-worth entirely from the praise and attention she received for her beauty, wealth, lifestyle and the jet-set company she kept, including numerous different celebrity boyfriends. She was determined to become the most sought-after and famous fashion model ever so people would admire her forever, even though deep down she knew that once she was over 30 in a few years time, she would be past her sell-by date in the industry and no one would admire her or remember her any more, a fear she temporarily forgot when she was having a good time drinking and taking drugs with her high-society 'friends', which she seemed to be doing increasingly more of to numb her fear. 

Her sister Jane, on the other hand, had a completely different life. Jane was as plain as her sister was beautiful and led as ordinary a life as her sister's was glamorous. She worked as a secretary at a large company in Johannesburg earning a secretary's salary and enjoying only 3 weeks leave a year, which she would spend with her aging parents at their retirement home on the South Coast. She was an introverted girl with only a few good friends, no boyfriend and not much of a social life, yet she enjoyed her job, was proud of her famous sister's success and was extremely grateful for everything in her life, especially her passion, which was writing. Every night, she would write for an hour or two because it gave her great pleasure. She was very excited by her newest project she had just started on: her first full-length novel about the life of a poor young girl who becomes a famous authoress against all odds and falls in love with and marries a wealthy philanthropist. It was proving really easy to write because all she had to do was write about her own feelings and the visions she had of herself as that famous author living the life she was describing. It almost felt like she was writing her own life story, although she some times wondered how it would be possible for a girl as ordinary as herself to live a life like that. She was happy with her current life and did not want to feel ungrateful for it, but the thought of this future excited and inspired her, which added to the deep joy and fulfillment she experienced anyway just by writing.

Exercise:

As an exercise for yourself, make a list of all the principles discussed in my answer to the question about how to set and achieve goals properly that Jane lived by and the opposing principles that her sister Pretty lived by - you should be able to come up with at least 5. Can you see how the principles they based their lives on - their internal maps of reality - led directly to their internal experiences of life in their 20's and the internal and external lives they created for themselves 20 years later? Ask yourself how you are creating your external reality with your internal map of reality that you use to guide your life, and how that map could become more accurate to create a better moment-by-moment experience of life and lead you to the future life you choose to create and which you feel destined for. Watch out for the next Lifebuilder in two weeks time to see which of the principles and insights you missed and which you picked up!

This Lifebuilder was written by Jonathan Quail, an inspirational speaker and life coach. Click here if you are looking for someone to help you and / or your company manifest all your heart knows you can have and deserve this year. 

We hope you enjoyed this edition of Lifebuilder, and we have given you some useful information and practical suggestions you can use to improve your life this year. If you would like to give us your feedback on Lifebuilder, click here and send the email that pops up. Until next time, create your own reality!

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