How Can We Overcome Problems?

Q: They say it is not what happens to you in life, but how you deal with it. When faced with a problem, instead of feeling helpless or overwhelmed by it, how can we use optimism to deal with it? 

A: True optimism is the ability to go beyond limiting judgments of events as ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ and accept that everything that happens, has happened or will happen in your life is perfect because everything is designed to make you more conscious or aware of who and what you really are. When you understand this truth, you can look beyond the superficial judgments of events most people cling to, and always see the opportunity that anything that happens, no matter how seemingly terrible, presents for learning and the growth, growth which inevitably leads one finally to realise the truth of who and what you really are. 

Thinking that things will get better in the future, preferably sooner rather than later, which is optimism as it is conventionally understood, often does not work, as you are constantly hoping and striving for life to get better, no matter how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ you judge it to be now, so you never really enjoy the present moment. Many people spend their entire lives living in the hope of a better future and so miss the magic of life that is always there to appreciate if they would only stop thinking and truly become aware. 

This does not mean that we should not have any goals in life or aim to improve on our life situation, just that our primary state of being should always be enjoyment and unconditional acceptance of the present moment of our journey through life, no matter what is happening on the journey at that moment, with any future goals merely a destination marker or an inn we encounter on the road where we may rest for a short while, rather than the only reason for the journey. Many great men and women have had to accept and overcome a great deal of adversity and extremely difficult circumstances in order to follow their true calling in life, but it is these difficulties that helped them to learn and grow, which is the real reason for this journey of the soul we call a human life. The author Ursula Le Guin expressed this truth beautifully when she wrote, “ It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters in the end.” 

To this I would add, "The real purpose of the journey is who we become in the process of the journey". So always enjoy and learn from the journey, even if the terrain you are covering is sometimes rocky and uphill - relish the challenge of working through the terrain, knowing that it will not last forever and when you get through it, you will have built courage, determination, persistence and faith into your character and will be a better person for the experience. 


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How Can We Replace Self-critical Thoughts With More Positive Ones? 

Q: How can we replace our inner negative or self-criticizing voice with something more positive? 

As I have already mentioned, we can only become truly positive when we learn to live through our true selves or true awareness, which has also been called the ‘soul’ or ‘spirit’, and let go of the false self, also known as the ego or the mind, which is the source of the negative, self-critical voice in our heads. I have already outlined how one can do this in the previous edition of Lifebuilder, so I won’t repeat the points I have already made again here, but I do want to emphasize that we must still our minds before we can hear the soft, still voice of our true selves that is always loving and never wrong, a voice, commonly known as intuition, that will unfailingly guide us through life if we would only listen. All the answers to every question or challenge lie within, if you have the courage to go to this seemingly terrifying place and master the insane voice of ego that will try its best to stop you doing this. It’s really about becoming aware of your power to choose at every moment which voice you will listen to. 


The answers to the questions in this Lifebuilder were written by Jonathan Quail, an inspirational speaker and coach. Click here to find out more about him and his work. 


It's been a long year and I'm sure you are eager to just relax and enjoy life for the next couple of weeks rather than read long emails, so we have kept this week's Lifebuilder deliberately short! We hope you enjoyed this and all the editions of Lifebuilder this year, and we have given you some useful information and practical suggestions you can use to improve your life this year. If you would like to give us your feedback on Lifebuilder, click here and send the email that pops up. Until next year, enjoy this miracle we call life!


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