The most accepted interpretation of quantum mechanics is that there is no reality in the absence of observation, which is a very profound statement about life when you really think about it. What it is saying is that reality as we perceive it is really not ‘out there’ but within our minds and that our perception of something as real is what gives it its reality. This means that we are the creators of our reality and are in fact projecting everything that appears to us to be out there from our minds and then perceiving and judging it as real to create the illusion of reality in the lives we apparently live. We really do live in a mind-created matrix of thought, which is all energy is, and the lenses through which we consciously or unconsciously choose to see our lives are what create our perceived reality and our life experiences.

If this is true, and I assure you it is in spite of any objections your rational mind might have to this truth, then the lenses through which we see life are of paramount importance as they create our entire reality and all our life experiences. Most people are unconscious of the fact that they are in fact perceiving everything through these lenses – the unconscious paradigms or beliefs they hold about themselves and life that create their perceived reality – and so continue creating the same often painful reality over and over again without realising they are actually projecting their deep unconscious beliefs about themselves out there, judging their experiences as real and thereby creating their own suffering.

Why would we do this to ourselves, you may ask? Simply to have an illusion of a special and unique identity, called the ego, that in our perception separates us from others, from other life forms on this planet, from the universe and ultimately, from God. So what are the most common lenses, the special identities or egos, through which people see life, and what apparent ‘reality’ do these create for the person with these lenses? Two of the most common dysfunctional ‘Life Lenses’ through which people see life, as well as one that is very uncommon because it involves a radically different perception of reality based on truth rather than illusions, and their implications are detailed below::

Life Lens Number 1: Victimhood

This is you if: You believe that everyone and everything is out to ‘get’ you; you have a continuous and gnawing anxiety about life; your health is poor; you complain and blame other people and circumstances whenever things go ‘wrong’ in your life, which they tend to do very often; you react with either submissive apathy or indignation and anger to people and events much of the time.

Payoff: You get to keep your egoic identity as a victim and the familiar behaviour patterns you are used to that elicit sympathy or fear from other people; you avoid the hard work of having to change yourself and your behaviour and in doing this, avoid taking responsibility for your life and your future.

Price you pay: You are beset by guilt, fear, apathy, anger and other negative emotions that stem from these as you have given control of your thoughts, emotions and life to circumstances and people you perceive as external to you and are always reacting to these events and circumstances rather than consciously creating your experience; your health is poor and you are always sick or far less than 100% well.

Make it work for you by: Realising that you are creating your reality all the time and everything you experience is a result of the mostly unconscious beliefs you hold about yourself and life, so to feel victimised, fearful and angry is self-delusion of the highest order because you are always victimising yourself. This paves the way for forgiveness to take place, firstly of yourself for causing your own suffering for so long without realising it and then of the person or people involved in the situation, because you realise they were merely acting according to your own unconscious wishes and are your projections who have in fact given you exactly the lesson you needed to learn to grow out of your victimhood and start taking responsibility for your thoughts, emotions and your life.
 

Life Lens 2: Control

This is you if: You are obsessed with controlling everyone and everything in your life to make sure that nothing goes ‘wrong’ and no one can harm you; you always try to dominate and manipulate people into doing what you want irrespective of whether it is good for them; you frequently get very angry when things do not turn out according to your expectations.

Payoff: You get to keep your identity as a control freak and an angry person whom others fear and accede to the demands of out of their fear; you feel superior to others whom you dominate and control; you get to have your own way much of the time.

Price you pay: You have deep, unconscious guilt over the suffering you have inflicted on others and fear their retaliation at some point; you actually feel inferior to others whom you pretend you are superior to; you are unhappy, frustrated and stressed most of the time because no matter how hard you try to make things work out as you want them to, they simply do not much of the time; you have given control of your thoughts, emotions and your life away to circumstances and people you perceive as outside you and beyond your control and are always reacting to these events and circumstances out of guilt and fear, so despite your attempts to control everything, you still think of yourself as a victim of life; your guilt, fear, anger, depression and other related negative emotions cause health problems and you are likely to suffer from one or more stress-related diseases.

Make it work for you by: Realising that when you internally argue with what’s happening, you lose 100% of the time, so your ego is continuously setting you up for an upset, thereby sabotaging your happiness and health; learning to surrender the need to control what happens in your life and to forgive other people and events for what you perceive is wrong so ultimately, you see that everything is perfect as it is because everything is teaching you to let go of your ego and find the happiness, peace and joy that lie beyond it.

Life Lens 3: Forgiveness

This is you if: You easily and naturally forgive other people and circumstances for anything you may initially have perceived they did wrong to you; you surrender to whatever happens in your life and allow nothing to disturb your inner peace.
 

Payoff: You feel peaceful, loving and joyful almost all of the time; your life flows forward naturally and you are able to enjoy good health, meaningful work and an inspiring career or vocation, many loving and trusting relationships and abundant financial wealth without attaching to any of it and fearing that you could lose it all.

Price you pay: People who are trapped in their ego’s victimhood or desire to control you will resent your loving, forgiving nature and the success and abundance you seem to enjoy so effortlessly and may try to sabotage your success or control you, but this would simply be viewed by you as another forgiveness opportunity, so you would be grateful for the opportunity and to the people giving it to you, thereby turning whatever happens in your life into something positive and escaping the duality of judging things as good or bad.

Make it work for you by: Continuing to surrender your resistance to what is happening in your life and to practise forgiveness at every opportunity, knowing that everything is in truth the perfect lesson for you to learn to help you to let go of the unconscious guilt and fear that constitute your ego, will lead you ultimately to live in a state of peace, joy and unconditional love for everyone no matter what they appear to have done, which is known as enlightenment. 

If you recognise yourself in one of the first two dysfunctional Life Lenses above, read theinformation about the third Lens, forgiveness, carefully, because forgiveness is the way you change your perception of everything and the only lens in life that will bring you inner peace, happiness and joy, which is what we are all here to learn to experience continuously, a state that is known as enlightenment.

This article was written by Jonathan Quail, a speaker, trainer, life coach, entrepreneur and co-founder of Lifebuild. To download a 10-step radical forgiveness process created by Jonathan that will help you to make forgiveness a habit in your life, click here. For more info rmation about Jonathan and the work he does, click here to visit his web site or here and send the email that pops up.  Visit www.lifeshops.co.za for more information about two transformational weekend retreats Jonathan is facilitating